This wins the internet today. My oldest son is scared, texting me that he doesn't want to get drafted. I'm terrified. But I don't share that with him. I comfort him while I scream inside. ARE WE F***ING GREAT YET?! My daughter enlisted voluntarily. She'll protect him.
I once went through my mom's purse. Yeah. I can't look at her anymore. Picture this — a girl leaves her purse behind, and two guys decide to play detective. Okay. Stand back. I'm going in. They dig through every pocket like it's a treasure hunt. (CLEARS THROAT) Okay. No wallet. No ID. No wallet, no ID, nothing that screams "this is who I am." Well,
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