My 7yo is arguing with me because I told her I saw The Nightmare Before Christmas when I was 11, which she feels couldn’t possibly be true because it’s in color, and obviously I was raised on silent movies and mastodon me it.
I'm sorry, I'm not good at math. Don't take a 40% tip. I messed up, okay? How am I supposed to get ahead when you're wasting my goddamn money? Get your ass in the van. The hell you want, asshole? I'm talking to you, stupid. Oh, tell me, baby. Why did you say that night? Oh, tell me.
Who's the guy in the closet? Excuse me? Oh, that's right. Sometimes you forget I'm a detective. See, there's all this steam in the shower like somebody was just in there. Only your hair's dry, so it must be somebody else we're talking about. Why do you get the toilet seat's up? Since he's under the bed, I figured you must have stuck him in the clo
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![ONE THING I WILL NEVER DO
TRAVEL WITH [REDACTED]](https://cdn.memestoday.fun/data/upload/dX7MsvwvC.jpg)
