Mike Layne @MikeLayne Applying for a job in... 1994: Candidate wants 70K, Company offers 85K, Both sides act like adults. 2005: Upload resume, Quick phone screen, One real interview, Offer by Friday. 2026: Upload resume, Re-enter the same resume manually, Write a custom cover letter nobody reads, Answer 12 "culture fit" questions, Take a personalit
Republicans are the kind of people who will offer to mow your lawn if you're unable to... Liberals are the kind of people who will report that overgrown lawn to the HOA. That's the difference.
Mike Carolla @SJTimes13 they showed him the entirely green screen set and recorded his reaction Avengers Updates @AvengersUpd... 3d New look at Magneto in 'AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY'
CVS employee: damn is your baby sick or something? Me: *holding 4 pedialytes and sweating pure vodka* Yes the baby is in grave danger. CVS pharmacy. Baby care, electrolytes, pain relief. Pedialyte AdvancedCare. Grape, Mixed Fruit, Unflavored, Strawberry.
Department of War CTO @DoWCTO The @DeptofWar officially directed 30 domestic academic institutions to conduct immediate, comprehensive audits of their academic, financial and research collaborations with foreign entities of concern. These audit notifications address active institutional ties and collaborations with foreign entities identified under
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