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avatar Mark Manson
The male version of

The male version of "you cheated in my dream"\nDafenet @patdafenet - 1d: So my girl almost died 3 fcking times in my apocalypse dream cause she don't FCKING listen. Now I'm irritated.

avatar John Paul
After 21 years married, I’ve asked my husband for a divorce. I feel happy and excited about a new chapter!

Well, let me just say, you’ll be extremely lucky if a new chapter is waiting for you. I’ve been divorced for 20 years and I haven’t found anyone yet. Biggest mistake I ever made.

After 21 years married, I’ve asked my husband for a divorce. I feel happy and excited about a new chapter! Well, let me just say, you’ll be extremely lucky if a new chapter is waiting for you. I’ve been divorced for 20 years and I haven’t found anyone yet. Biggest mistake I ever made.

avatar Charlie Chocolate
I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter

avatar Sophia Rich
imagine having sex and he says 'say my name baby' but his name is gilbert

Gilbert Gottfried

fuck this tweet

imagine having sex and he says 'say my name baby' but his name is gilbert Gilbert Gottfried fuck this tweet

avatar Gaie Houston
My boss is totally unhinged. He just divided a stack of resumes into two, threw one pile away and said “we can't work with unlucky people”

My boss is totally unhinged. He just divided a stack of resumes into two, threw one pile away and said “we can't work with unlucky people”

avatar Anthony Miller
I don't want to alarm anyone, but according to my toddler, there is a burglar who broke in, not to steal anything, but to pee in his bed. It definitely wasn't him. Be safe out there everyone.

I don't want to alarm anyone, but according to my toddler, there is a burglar who broke in, not to steal anything, but to pee in his bed. It definitely wasn't him. Be safe out there everyone.

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