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avatar John Paul
Them:

Them: "what you doing this weekend?" Me: "enjoying my mortgage"

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avatar Sophia Rich
HAVE YOU ALL NOTICED THAT NOW THAT TRUMP HAS STOLEN ALL OF VENEZUELA'S GOLD AND OIL, THERE ARE NO MORE

HAVE YOU ALL NOTICED THAT NOW THAT TRUMP HAS STOLEN ALL OF VENEZUELA'S GOLD AND OIL, THERE ARE NO MORE "DRUG BOATS" AND ALL THE FEARMONGERING ABOUT "VENEZUELAN DRUG GANGS" HAS MAGICALLY DISAPPEARED FROM THE NEWS? @GermanChocolate

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avatar Patricia Lee
MY IDEAL BODY WEIGHT IS YOURS ON TOP OF ME just found the greatest gym shirt

MY IDEAL BODY WEIGHT IS YOURS ON TOP OF ME just found the greatest gym shirt

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avatar Jeremy Jordan
Trust me, Miss Blake. No one will ever notice you're wearing a hearing aid.

Trust me, Miss Blake. No one will ever notice you're wearing a hearing aid.

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avatar John Paul
When she has a master's degree in Tea Baggin NastyNate

When she has a master's degree in Tea Baggin NastyNate

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avatar Mark Manson
Me wondering how I went from 18 to 27 so fast:

Me wondering how I went from 18 to 27 so fast:

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