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avatar Jeremy Jordan

"you let your cat sleep with you" i’d let that mf represent me in court

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avatar Jeremy Jordan
When my sergeant says

When my sergeant says "I need two volunteers" and I ask "for what?" And he replies with "I need one more volunteer"

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avatar John Paul
When she figures out why your mouse is always on the left side of the keyboard after you're done using the computer

When she figures out why your mouse is always on the left side of the keyboard after you're done using the computer

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avatar Anthony Miller
LORD,
Set my feet in the right direction.
Help me to hear Your voice through the noise. Help me to see Your light along the path—even if all the world is dark around me. I don’t want to go my way anymore.
I want to run toward You.

LORD, Set my feet in the right direction. Help me to hear Your voice through the noise. Help me to see Your light along the path—even if all the world is dark around me. I don’t want to go my way anymore. I want to run toward You.

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avatar Sophia Rich
CHECKING THAT LIST, EH SANTA? NOBODY CHECKS A LIST LIKE YOU! IS IT ME OR HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT? IF YOU EVER NEED A NEW REINDEER FOR THE SLED, I'M READY TO GO!

CHECKING THAT LIST, EH SANTA? NOBODY CHECKS A LIST LIKE YOU! IS IT ME OR HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT? IF YOU EVER NEED A NEW REINDEER FOR THE SLED, I'M READY TO GO!

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avatar Jacob Junior
Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer. (Mark Amend)

Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer. (Mark Amend)

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