I was sitting on a bus behind a mother and her young son. Her boy kept looking around and pulling funny faces at me. After a few minutes, I got tired of his antics... So I said, "When I was young, my mother told me that if I made an ugly face and the wind changed, I'd stay that way." The little shit replied, "Well, you can't say you weren't warned.
Woman gets robbed so often she keeps a throw-away phone on her. A woman on a bus is approached by a man who attempts to steal her phone. She calmly hands him a different, presumably less valuable, phone, which he takes before leaving.
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