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avatar Agni Gauss
europeans vs Americans.

europeans vs Americans. "There's a Burglar in our house!" Europeans: [man with hands up in fear]. Americans: OH MY! LOOK AT THE TIME! IT'S GLOCK'O'CLOCK! [octopus with guns].

avatar Jacob Junior
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disco

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disco

avatar Gaie Houston

A burglar breaks into a house at night, shining his flashlight around the living room looking for valuables, when he hears a voice say, "Jesus is watching you." He turns his flashlight off and freezes. After a couple minutes, nothing happens, so he turns the flashlight back on and immediately hears, "Jesus is watching you." He whirls around and shi

avatar Anthony Miller
IF YOU KILL A BURGLAR, IT MEANS YOU VALUE YOUR THINGS MORE THAN THE BURGLAR'S LIFE. YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT

IF YOU KILL A BURGLAR, IT MEANS YOU VALUE YOUR THINGS MORE THAN THE BURGLAR'S LIFE. YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT

avatar John Paul
A burglar broke into our house last night. I didn't shoot him; I just put the red laser dot on his forehead. Our three cats did the rest.

A burglar broke into our house last night. I didn't shoot him; I just put the red laser dot on his forehead. Our three cats did the rest.

avatar Agni Gauss
burglar: aren't you gonna call the police?
me:
WE DON'T DO THAT AROUND HERE

burglar: aren't you gonna call the police? me: WE DON'T DO THAT AROUND HERE

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