I NOW IDENTIFY AS A WOMAN. SO I GUESS THAT MAKES ME THE FIRST FEMALE PRESIDENT. NO! THAT DOESN'T COUNT! WE CAN'T CELEBRATE HIM! WE NEED TO CHANGE OUR GENDER IDEOLOGY. WE CAN'T CELEBRATE HIM! PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
NEW AIRLINE SAFETY PROTOCOL All pilots and co-pilots must pass this mandatory dietary compliance test to identify potential terrorist threats before entering the cockpit.
$170B FOR ICE
$117B IN TAX CUTS FOR THE RICH
$40B FOR ARGENTINA
$350M FOR A VANITY BALLROOM
$230M IN DOJ PAYMENTS TO TRUMP
$172M FOR KRISTI NOEM'S JETS
$100M ON GOLF
FOOD STAMPS ARE DEFINITELY THE PROBLEM
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