You stole? Chop off his hands. You stole? You're free to go. You got caught with chewing gum? That'll be one caning. You tweeted something I didn't like? Six months jail time. Armed robbery? That's four years in a college dorm with a TV, a library, and a gym. You got caught with 20 assault rifles and a rocket launcher? Oh, that's your right. You h
What was supposed to be a prank on a teacher instead backfired on the students. A blindfolded half-court shot that is now the talk of campus and beyond. I put that in the story too. You lose that! Are you kidding me? That was perfect! It went in. Did you see it? Yeah. Is that on tape? Yeah. That was perfect. You are kidding me. No. I'm going to go
Alright, babe, guess what this is. Orange! Nice! Okay, my turn. Okay. Babe, are these peanuts? Yeah. I'm allergic to peanuts! Oh my god. We've been together nine years and you didn't know I was allergic to peanuts? I'm so sorry. Are my cheeks swollen? I don't think so. Oh my god! What?!
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