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avatar Joseph Mitchell
A burglar broke into our house last night. I didn't shoot him; I just put the red laser dot on his forehead. Our three cats did the rest.

A burglar broke into our house last night. I didn't shoot him; I just put the red laser dot on his forehead. Our three cats did the rest.

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avatar Isabella Lewis
You might be old, but are you old enough to remember ashtrays in car doors?

You might be old, but are you old enough to remember ashtrays in car doors?

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avatar Gaie Houston
how i sleep knowing i was the reason why we didn't win a pizza party in the 5th grade

how i sleep knowing i was the reason why we didn't win a pizza party in the 5th grade

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avatar Jacob Junior
Can I use 2 of my vacation days?
Boss

Can I use 2 of my vacation days? Boss

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avatar Jeremy Jordan
Shut down Snap. Then have everyone reapply in person with i.d. Then perform background checks. A clean start is needed!

Shut down Snap. Then have everyone reapply in person with i.d. Then perform background checks. A clean start is needed!

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avatar Patricia Lee
BREAKING: The House passed the National Defense Authorization Act, which gives enlisted troops a 4% raise and eliminates DEI programs. The vote was 312 to 112, with 18 Republicans and 94 Democrats voting

BREAKING: The House passed the National Defense Authorization Act, which gives enlisted troops a 4% raise and eliminates DEI programs. The vote was 312 to 112, with 18 Republicans and 94 Democrats voting "no". HOUSE PASSES $901 BILLION DEFENSE BILL, SENDING LEGISLATION TO SENATE

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