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avatar Jacob Junior
My toddler said I was his second favorite person, and I was bummed, but then he said that his mom is third. He has no favorite person. He's holding the position open.

My toddler said I was his second favorite person, and I was bummed, but then he said that his mom is third. He has no favorite person. He's holding the position open.

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avatar Joseph Mitchell
DO YOU BELIEVE USAID WAS A LAUNDERING SCHEME BY THE DEMOCRATS?

DO YOU BELIEVE USAID WAS A LAUNDERING SCHEME BY THE DEMOCRATS?

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avatar Jeremy Jordan
THERE ARE TWO GENDERS ONE GOES TO A GYNECOLOGIST, AND THE OTHER TO A UROLOGIST, AND EVERYONE ELSE TO A PSYCHOLOGIST.

THERE ARE TWO GENDERS ONE GOES TO A GYNECOLOGIST, AND THE OTHER TO A UROLOGIST, AND EVERYONE ELSE TO A PSYCHOLOGIST.

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avatar Joseph Mitchell
This girl doesn't know it yet, but I'm about to excuse myself to the bathroom and not come back. Whoever she's texting can pay for the food.

This girl doesn't know it yet, but I'm about to excuse myself to the bathroom and not come back. Whoever she's texting can pay for the food.

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avatar Jacob Junior
I'M AT THE AGE WHERE THE NEXT DAY MY BODY WHISPERS TO ME DON'T DO THAT AGAIN

I'M AT THE AGE WHERE THE NEXT DAY MY BODY WHISPERS TO ME DON'T DO THAT AGAIN

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avatar Gaie Houston
One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don't have to like everyone, everyone doesn't have to like us, and it's perfectly OK.

One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don't have to like everyone, everyone doesn't have to like us, and it's perfectly OK.

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