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avatar Joseph Mitchell

can I see your ID please *shows picture of ID* what can I get for you? I'll just take a beer

avatar Olivia Veqqie

This is what happens when you elect a bartender to Congress

avatar jojo9

How much is it? Three dollars. Another one please. Another one please.

avatar Isabella Lewis

I'm probably going to ask for cranberry in my drink. Did you order a vodka cranberry? No. Then it's not your fucking drink. I'm sorry I didn't ask for cranberry in my drink.

avatar Jeremy Jordan

Me (drunk af) walking past the bartender with my keys after he took them 20 minutes ago

avatar Mark Manson

Bartender, I really did it this time Broke my parole to have a good time

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