A state trooper pulled over an old man for speeding. The officer said to the old man, 'If you can give me an excuse I've never heard before, I'll let you go.' The old man said to the officer, 'Several years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper and I thought you were him trying to bring her back to me.' The officer replied, 'Slow it down and hav
How Conway Twitty chose his name! And your name is actually Conway Twitty? No, that's a stage name. I got that name from the map of the United States back in 1957. Real name's Harold Jenkins. Well, Harold Jenkins would be great, too. Yeah, that's a good name. You know, I thought, you know, disc jockeys back in the 50s got so many records every week
Babe you're not going to believe what happened today. What? So I was at Walmart and this guy pulled up on me. Say it in Spanish for uncle. This guy pulled up to me with a knife. Stop babe. And he said your life or your money. Stop babe. And I said, Bro, I'm married. What life? What money? Like is this a real story? I'm about to cut him now. feel wh
5-YEAR-OLD BOY VISITED THE POLICE TO REPORT HIS UNCLE FOR PUSHING HIM. WHEN OFFICERS ARRIVED, THEY DISCOVERED THE "UNCLE" WAS ALSO 5 YEARS OLD. THE CASE WAS CLOSED.
I left the B@R Last night with 1 foot on the curb and 1 foot on the road for about 20 yards, when a cop stopped and asked me if I was DRU!NK! I said, "THANK GOD, I thought I was F*!KING CR!P PLED."
My wife almost killed me one night in bed. I didn't know what to do because I didn't recognize the noise. You ever look for a noise? By the time I realized it, I was almost gone. 11 o'clock, this is the noise I hear... (fart sound) She says, 'What's the matter? You didn't hear that?' 'What'd it sound like?' 'Like Superman just flew over the house.'
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