Masturbating is really important to you. Yeah, it is. It keeps me sane. I'm a good citizen. I'm a good father. I recycle and I masturbate. And I'm proud of it. And... and God's happy. And later I'm gonna masturbate, I'm gonna think about you. And there's nothing you can do about it.
Sleepy Kitty Shenanigans. Finally found our kitten Avocado after hours of looking. Lil guy falls asleep mid sentence. Ain't Nobody told me they fight they sleep toooo. This morning, I found my cat sleeping in a pretty unusual position... You need a good pillow? Mmm-hmm, that's fine. You playing queen? How are you? Are you sure?
Bill Maher: "A few weeks ago, a liberal Democrat named Melissa Chaudhry running for Congress in Seattle was asked, 'Why, among the many liberal causes listed on her website, LGBT rights was conspicuously absent?' Because she said, 'a lot of Muslims do not feel that way, unfortunately.' Now here's where liberal sphincters just tightened because they
me staring at old McDonald's prices like a time traveler who lost everything. See, you get a large Coke, a Big Mac, and a super-sized fry with 30% more. All for just $2.75. Hey, that's a great deal! Yeah, and easy to handle. They've also got a Quarter Pounder with cheese or a McDLT Value Pack for just $2.75. Value Pack. $2.75 Plus Tax. $2.85.
A train passes a railway crossing where a cow is stuck between the barrier and the tracks. People are watching. The cow remains calm and walks away unharmed after the train passes. Text on screen: STOP, 6761.
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