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avatar Sophia Rich

No boyfriend no kids. Just a 12-hour shift, and I'm soaked in sweat. It's my birthday today. Can I get an 'HBD' and a follow? That would make my day.

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avatar Jeremy Jordan

I have a crush on you, but not in the way crushes now work, where you look up their social media and all our friends lurk. I mean, in the way that I want to record your laugh, play it back to God and thank him on everyone's behalf. I mean it in the way that for you I'd be put together, deconstruct my worst habits because for you I'd want to be bett

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avatar Charlie Chocolate

Were you expecting the postman last night? No, Taco, I didn't order anything online. Why? Strange, because I heard you screaming, 'Just drop your massive package right inside my box!' Oh my God.

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avatar John Paul

POV: your pbj was built to code. A person uses construction tools like a trowel to spread peanut butter and jelly on bread, then uses a miter saw to precisely cut the sandwich, making it perfectly square and neat.

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avatar Agni Gauss

Game Over for Mail-In Fraud? Postmaster General Shuts Door on Non-Compliant States. BREAKING: USPS just announced they will NOT deliver mail-in ballots to states that refuse Trump's new voter manifest rule. Election integrity. I'll make you see that you're absolutely perfect. So it looks very good. So far so good. Okay. So that's a big deal. Very p

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avatar Gaie Houston

Me 5 min into my shift at work. Oh, somebody kill me please. Somebody kill me please. Oh, on my knees, pretty pretty please, kill me.

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