This is WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A DOG JUMPS WITHOUT A PARACHUTE. A person holds a corgi, then releases it into the sky. The dog comically 'poofs' into a cloud and then reappears, landing safely.
In the middle of your speech, you made fun of transgenders. I made fun of one person who grabbed me by the back of the neck and threatened me with violence. You cut that out now or you'll go home in an ambulance. If I coldly and clearly state a fact and you're offended by the fact, that's not me being responsible for offending you, that's me saying
That soundbite a moment ago from Donald Trump talking about training guns on the face of Liz Cheney... No, that's not what he said. You guys know that. What he was saying is you're so much in favor of war. No, you played a piece of the soundbite because in another piece of it he said he would give her a gun to go stand in conflict as well. You don'
Best joke writer in the business. I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer. But no one will do it. When I was a little kid, I had a pet turtle. Tiny little turtle, kept him in an aquarium. Then one summer, I went away to camp. While I was gone at camp, the turtle died. When I got home, my dad lied to me. He said, 'Anthony
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