Old saying, there's no such thing as a stupid question? Myth busted. I had a bag of stupid questions. I was like, how come when you buy a pair of shoes, you get two shoes, but you only get one bird when you buy a pair of keys? Yeah, she quit that day. Last seen walking out of the building, her eyes are blinking, 'This is bullshit. I don't get paid
Part 1. OUR ASSES ARE DIFF. I still haven't figured out how my wife can drop a deuce in 36 seconds. In 36 seconds I'm like what comes out of your ass? Rabbit pellets? But what do you women do? We sit, men sit. I clear out an hour of my day to take a shit. My wife's like why does it take so long? Because men have different asses and different digest
Special things that happened in Boston without thanking the Somalis. I was decent in school. I don't remember Somalis being part of the fucking Boston Tea Party. I mean, they could have been there, you know, some of them are pirates, they could have been in the water, but I don't... So because she's Asian and her last name is Woo, I thought it was
Best joke writer in the business. I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer. But no one will do it. When I was a little kid, I had a pet turtle. Tiny little turtle, kept him in an aquarium. Then one summer, I went away to camp. While I was gone at camp, the turtle died. When I got home, my dad lied to me. He said, 'Anthony
Women in their early 40's have the sex drive of a fucking 18-year-old man. Woooo! She's getting fucked right now! Look around the room. You see a woman in her early 40's and a man of the same age sitting next to her? That man is holding on for dear life. That man is looking for as much vitamin E as he can find. That man does not swallow Viagra. He
I seriously never thought that my husband would abuse our children. But I just got home and look at them. It looks like they get beat all the time. Yeah. This guy says, can we stop normalizing abusing? If he struck her, y'all would be losing your minds. But you have to understand, she hits me about as hard as she works. So as you can see, nothing g
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