Pete Davidson is here to remind me that being on SNL does not make you a better comedian. Pete showed up at the Kids Choice Awards high on ketamine. I actually think that's pretty fucking awesome. At least he didn't show up to that event on Viagra like a lot of the people in this room did. A lot of pedophiles here. Pete, this is actually an interve
Paul Mooney said it in 89 it is still relevant to this day. Have you took a good look at a monkey? A monkey got thin lips. Take a good look at a monkey. A monkey got light eyes. Take a good look at a monkey. A monkey got straight hair. Take a good look at a monkey.
Anybody got them mothers that would hit you with a shoe? I had a mother that would throw a shoe at you at the drop of a dime and f*ck you up wherever she was aiming. It was bad with a shoe. She would like carry that sh*t like a gun. By the time I was like 10, my mother was like Clint Eastwood with a shoe. And you f*ck up, my mother walk in the room
It's hard to be a comedian these days, I'll tell you the truth, because the stuff on social media is ten times funnier than anything you could do. My favorite thing now is Mexican guys on TikTok or whatever, or they're like on Instagram going: 'Please, Donald Trump, ICE, don't take me, suegra, please. Don't not take my mother-in-law back to Mexico.
That Bruce Lee was a bad motherfucker. 5'7", 140 pounds. Dynamite. You understand me? That motherfucker in the movie, you seen that motherfucker, he walking in the dojo. 300 motherfuckers. Bruce walk in. And you know I love that n*gga walk, n*gga. Oh, he was a chigger. A chigger, a Chinese n*gga. That little motherfucker had some n*gga in him. We c
You're such a sweetheart. I'm sorry to call you out like that, but you were f***ing standing for a while. I know. It had to have been hard to find your seat. Looking for row I. About a year and a half ago, we did two shows next door. Heyyy you guysssss. That's f***ing... man, maybe the meanest thing. Bro. I mean. Whoever did that, though, going to
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