Can you imagine the first time that like a lawyer introduced the idea of like pleading insanity? Like, imagine you're going in court, clearly your client is guilty, and you're like, 'Your Honor... he's fucking nuts!'
I'm glad I'm married. I'm done. I'm done with people. I used to hook up with a lot of guys. And, you know, we're mean to women who hook up a lot. Sometimes we call them a slut. That's not very nice. Yeah. Yeah. Well, also, what if I was just trying to find the one and working at it the hardest? I wasn't a slut. I was dedicated to the process. I sle
Are you a cop? I don't know what I do. Oh yeah? Ohhh, yeah, you're a cop, alright! Did you just say I don't know what I do? Well you know why I pulled you over? Why don't you hang tight for me right there, alright? F*ck I've always wanted to do that to a cop. Hang tight for a sec for me, alright? You guys f*cking go back to your car and check Insta
I don't watch Fox News. My dad watches it. It's mostly bad. But I watched it recently and something... they were talking about Welfare Queens. They were like, 'Yeah, a single mother, she needs food stamps to feed her kids. She takes money from the government to feed her kids. She's a Welfare Queen.' I was like, 'Oh wait, like that's kind of woke, r
EMERALD CITY COMEDY CLUB. BIBLE VERSES. The Bible's wild because it will give you a verse that you exactly need to hear, and then it'll say something that you don't agree with at all. You know what I'm saying? Like, the Bible will be like, 'Wives, you must submit to your husbands.' And then it'll say something I don't agree with at all.
Men in Texas are so lonely. Every time I stepped outside the house, I would get hit on. And then every time I came back inside the house, I would get hit on again. My nephew hit on me. Yeah, he came up to me, he was like, "Auntie, do you want to get married?" Awwww, yeah. He's 26. I'm 24 and my sister's 42. I've had to friend zone a couple guys. I'
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