You know, the key to having a healthy marriage is to simply live in a healthy lifestyle. So, the next time that your wife asks you if she looks fat in that dress, kindly remind her that if she were to question the food she eats as much as she questions everything that you do, she wouldn't be asking that question.
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner...unannounced at 7:30 pm after work.
His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens.
Wife: “My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pajamas and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?!?”
My wife kicked me out of the house just because she walked in on me whilst i was measuring my penis\n\nJust for the record it reaches the back of her sisters throat
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