Can you believe it? Mike came home from a business trip yesterday, caught his wife in bed with her lover, grabbed a shotgun, shot them both, and then killed himself. Wow, that's great! Great? Are you kidding? Don't you realize this is a terrible tragedy? Yeah, I know. But if Mike had come home one day earlier, I'd be the one who got killed.
Mmm, kettlebells. I could be a kettlefella. Move to kettle-delphia. Mmm. Hi, yeah — I need to order some of your athletic-cut t-shirts. Arm size? Uh, XXL. Oh wait, I just went up an X. Yup, XXXL. Errrgh, starting to hurt. Yeah, I'm not getting this. Errrgh ah.
Have you all ever seen a video and then just said, 'Yep, that pretty much sums it up.' Give women the vote and the whole country will be damned. Nonsense, you just want to keep us down. Well, how about two of you get into my machine and tell me what you see. End the patriarchy! My farts are now 50% off, get 'em now, losers! Okay, we've seen enough.
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