I saw something today that came close to truth in advertising. The De Beers people are almost saying what they really mean because the old De Beers slogan was, 'Diamonds are forever.' Then they changed it to this year, 'Take her breath away.' The new slogan is, 'Diamonds, render her speechless.' Why don't they just go ahead and say it? 'Diamonds, t
I wanna remind you of something. I should remind myself too. What? Well, when I stepped out of the spotlight to give you, I could see more of the crowd than earlier. Yeah, there's actually a few more younger folks here this evening than I realized. So, considering the way things are today, we might wanna consider using the appropriate language. Oh,
My fucking grandpa always thinks he's tossing me some wise advice and then say some shit like, always remember son, it's better to shit in the sink than to sink in the shit. Let that shit sink in. Laughs Barn. @TONYLEE257.
I was talking to a man the other day who was leaving, decided to immigrate, said leave this country. And I said, why are you leaving? He said, it's for sexuality. I said, what are you talking about? He said, 300 years ago if you were homosexual, you're hanged, drawn and quartered. A hundred years ago if you're homosexual, you were hanged. 50 years
Number 5. Who the fuck came up with pacifiers? Like, bro, I'm crying 'cause I wanna suck on a boob, not some fake rubber nipple! You wanna pacify me? Then get those milkers out 'cause baby wants boobie! Number 4. Mom says I have to eat my vegetables if I wanna get big. I'm like, 'Oh yeah, Mom? I have to eat my vegetables to do that?' Are you sure?
Kale. You can't put enough ranch dressing on kale to make it taste good. You know what kale chips are, sir? It's kale leaves on a cookie sheet burned in the oven at 400 degrees. I go, what are these? She said, 'Kale chips.' I go, 'It's a brush fire!' What are you talking about? This isn't food. I tried to give them to my dog. My dog goes, 'No way,
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