NINA CONTI THE BEST EVER VENTRILOQUIST PERFORMANCE. Now, I'm always sort of hunting for the perfect puppet, and I need another volunteer, and I wonder if I could... if I could borrow you on the end. What's your name? Uh, it's Luke. Luke. What do you do, Luke? I'm a student. You're a student. Excellent. Can we give it up for Luke, please? Come on up
Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, 'You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday.' On Monday, the judge asked the first guy, 'How
Hey bud, aren't you supposed to be sleeping? You know what happens to people who stay up late on their phone, right? I'll let the boogie monster under the bed tell you. The next time you get out of bed, I'm gonna cut your ankles. Fuck you, bitch. Go to fuck to sleep. Bitch.
Some of y'all just need to smoke some weed and see if it don't help the quality of your motherfucking life. I know, I see some of y'all, look, I understand. If you ain't smoking weed 'cause you got a good job, then by all means make your paper, boo-boo. But if you ain't got no job and you're not smoking weed, I don't know what the fuck you are doin
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