I think it's crazy that we have anger management but we don't have stupidity management. I can't be mad but you get to be dumb. That's very unfair. Especially because 99% of the time I get mad is because somebody's doing something stupid.
Ernie was so proud of his DIY elephant costume that Bert couldn't bear to explain to him why the sock he found under the bed stuck to his nose so well.
Oh yeah, you like when I rub it real good? Yeah? Is that what you like? Well, you earned this for working so hard lately. This is all your hard work paying off. You're finally going to feel like a brand new person after this. All right, your shoes are all shined and you're good to go. Back to work you go, looking fresh. Also, I do hand jobs if you'
Does Achmed Do Anything Special For Valentine's Day. Do you do anything special on Valentine's Day? I have a romantic dinner with my wives. Oh, Greek gods have wives. Yes, wives and virgins. What's the difference? I call it graduation. But don't you have one particular favorite sweetheart? Well, it's not easy to say. The one you like spending the m
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