Courtroom exchange of the day.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, how can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: B
Mr. Ryan, how do you feel after your colonoscopy? Really bad. Can you give me something for pain, please? How is your pain scale? 10. The 10. Ok, let me bring the mirror locks. Give me one sec.
It's not poison ivy. You were bitten by chiggers. Excuse me? You were bitten by little tiny insects called chiggers. That's rough. Yeah, and he's still got a couple on you now. Oh no, should I be worried? No! It's just two. Now, if it were a group of chiggers, I'd call the police. It's not poison ivy. Bro, what the fuck?
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