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avatar Jeremy Jordan

Hey mom, why am I called Crystal? Oh, that's because a glass broke before you were born. Hey mom, how long till we get back home? Shut up, Rubber.

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avatar Agni Gauss

Me trying to keep my throat chakra in check before I pop off and hurt somebody’s feelings Thank you.

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avatar Jacob Junior

File a case for an attempt to murder 😂

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avatar Sophia Rich

My lesbian neighbors asked me, what I want for my birthday? They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said, 'I wanna watch!' Thank you.

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avatar Patricia Lee

Pro-marriage tip. Remember, it takes two people to destroy a relationship. So, it's not just her fault. It's also her mother's. Michael, no.

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avatar Mark Manson

Why in the ever-loving heck was Rachel Maddow at Dick Cheney's funeral? And Fauci? And James Carville? These are people who spent years trashing the man on television. That doesn't tell you there's something weird about all this. That it may all just be professional wrestling. And if you know, you know. But you know who is missing? Bill Clinton an

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