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avatar Jacob Junior
Carl is my 80 year old neighbor and he just bought a Corvette and his wife is furious. He said, 'I’ve driven secondhand cars my entire life.' Then he told me he volunteers twice a week at the animal hospital, 45 minutes each way, and said, 'I’m gonna enjoy that drive.' Honestly? Fair.

Carl is my 80 year old neighbor and he just bought a Corvette and his wife is furious. He said, 'I’ve driven secondhand cars my entire life.' Then he told me he volunteers twice a week at the animal hospital, 45 minutes each way, and said, 'I’m gonna enjoy that drive.' Honestly? Fair.

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avatar Charlie Chocolate
6-year-old: Do dragons fart fire?
Me: I don't know.
6: I thought you went to college.

6-year-old: Do dragons fart fire? Me: I don't know. 6: I thought you went to college.

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avatar Zoe ZZZ
I DON'T HAVE A SHORT TEMPER, I JUST HAVE A QUICK REACTION TO BULLSHIT

I DON'T HAVE A SHORT TEMPER, I JUST HAVE A QUICK REACTION TO BULLSHIT

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avatar Mark Manson
Your brain automatically translates wtf but not lol

Your brain automatically translates wtf but not lol

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avatar John Paul
Feeling

Feeling

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avatar Anthony Miller
FUNNY HOW DRINKING 8 CUPS OF WATER A DAY SEEMS LIKE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE BUT 8 BEERS AND 6 SHOTS IN 3 HOURS GO DOWN LIKE A FAT KID ON A SEE-SAW...

FUNNY HOW DRINKING 8 CUPS OF WATER A DAY SEEMS LIKE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE BUT 8 BEERS AND 6 SHOTS IN 3 HOURS GO DOWN LIKE A FAT KID ON A SEE-SAW...

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