I hate "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen, it’s random nonsense.
Actually it’s the story of a boy whose girlfriend left him for some other guy. He kills him, now the gang of that guy is looking for him. He goes to say goodbye to his mother before the gang finds him. The "opera" part is the guntight, where the gang mocks him for being a "just a poor boy."
I told my Lyft driver I was on mushrooms and he said, 'like pizza mushrooms?' I thought about it for 5 seconds and was like, 'yeah.' Then he confided he sometimes eats a whole can of black olives.
A soldier stationed abroad recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: "Dear Jack, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have changed on you twice since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me
I pointed at two drunks sitting across from us at the bar and told my friend, 'That's gonna be us in 10 years.' He said, 'That's a mirror, you dipshit!' 😂😂😂😂
lex 🦋 @lexknierim while bartending today, a guy comes in, hands me $40 & says “a woman in a green hat & black shirt is coming in later that’s a FOX. tell her drinks on me.” later she comes in & I tell her about it. she starts laughing & says “that was my husband” 😂 if that ain’t goals idk what is
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