After my ex ran a red light and totaled my car...his girlfriend showed up to our accident. When she said "I'm his girlfriend" to the officer, he looked at me like "ma'am please..I know what we both just heard but don't...not right now"
It finally happened! The flight attendant asked "is there a doctor on this flight?" and I leapt up and said yes!
Did a tracheotomy at 30,000ft with a razor blade and ballpoint pen.
He didn't make it, but the thrill was undeniable. Thinking of going to doctor school now.
I made this person breakfast once BUT instead of thanking me, She screamed n kept asking me how the hell i got in her house. Women never appreciate anything.
"Was sitting in my lecture on tinder. Swiped left on the guy that sat behind me. He leaned in and said "wow that was rude"... we've now been dating for 3 months..." - University of Akron
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