Things I thought I would have as an adult: A thriving career, an amazing social life, an impressive retirement account.
Things I actually have as an adult: A plastic bag filled with plastic bags, a favorite spatula, crippling anxiety.
Jason got written up by HR today. I'm quitting soon anyway, but this might be the first disciplinary notice I've ever considered framing. The reason for the write-up states: When asked why he consumed four beers during lunch, the employee stated that he "was not aware there was a hard cap at 3 lunch beers." and added that he felt this was "somethin
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