Hello sir. I find your wallet. I go now to give police station at [redacted] Avenue and you pick up there. I take 5 dollars from wallet to buy hot dog. I am hungry and you owe me. I save you. have a good day
He's out of line... but that's fair.
So I was in the bus with this granny by my side when we spotted two girls kissing by the bus stop. The granny turned to me and said "these girls are so pretty. At their age I was pretty ugly. Well, maybe that's why I had to marry a man"\n\nI ALMOST DIED
Once a month I get sloppily drunk with the boys and Uber home. This text from my wife is why I married her.\n\nDenise ❤️ (now)\nLeft you drunk food in the fridge: turkey sandwich, triple cheese, irresponsible mayo levels. There are chips in the pantry. Have fun with the boys.
If you had to choose, would you rather lose an arm or a leg?
A leg. Need both arms to fish.
My coworker just said he needs both arms to hug his wife, so thanks 😬
Sounds like he's never been fishing
Got my son a phone and now I get text like this everyday. 😁
I lost iron man's arms😌😌
Well at least he's got a little black spoon to eat with. 😄🤣😄
"Jarvis find my missing arms"
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![Hello sir. I find your wallet. I go now to give police station at [redacted] Avenue and you pick up there. I take 5 dollars from wallet to buy hot dog. I am hungry and you owe me. I save you. have a good day
He's out of line... but that's fair.](https://cdn.memestoday.fun/data/upload/UOkzSvX6D.jpg)
