This police dog thought he was being called in for a routine bag check, but he was in for something much bigger. Instead of anything suspicious, he found a surprise retirement party to celebrate his years of loyal service. He lit up with excitement as the officers tossed dozens of tennis balls his way, and he happily chased after them. After a lifetime
Oh my God. Why would you get married, motherfucker? It's the worst possible commitment you could do. Because as of the day you get married, 50% of everything is hers. I don't care how beautiful she is. Stay her girlfriend. I'm a diamond. I'm forever. I've overstayed my welcome. And my name is Rick Clare.
I'm a server and I think we're going to make 100 burritos today. I'm the operations manager. I think we're going to do 500 burritos today. I'm the floor manager. I think we're going to make 1,000 burritos today. I'm the chef. I think they should shut the fuck up.
Portland Sage Singers, Rainbow Connection, Ice Detention Center. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY, AND WHY DO THEY HAVE TO, YOU SPRAYED US WITH PEPPER. CITY IS BURNING, SO MARCH THROUGH OUR CITY. THE CHICKEN, THE T-REX AND ... WE ARE A GENTLE, ANGRY PEOPLE AND WE ARE SINGING FOR OUR LIVES.
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