You ever notice how every time a Republican takes office, the Democrats start acting like it's the end of the world? I mean, the minute we cut taxes or trim the budget, they start screaming that the sky is falling. Now, don't get me wrong, I admire their consistency. If the stock market surges, they say it's just helping the rich. And if it crashes
Alexa! Hey there, what can I do for you? No. Music. What would you like to listen to? Alexa, turn it off. Playing Turn It Off by Elvara. This cockatoo is every neighbor's nightmare. What was that? The whole building can hear this. I don't care.
shenanigans. Crowley! Crowley, god damn it! Fucking hell! Delivery guy's skill. Alright. Nice job, dude. Go to your kennel. Hey! You put that down! PRO DOG TIP: PAY MORE ATTENTION TO YOUR DOG THAN YOUR PHONE. Screaming. Screaming.
waiting on me to watch you jump? Convinced our dog understands full sentences. Okay, go on then. Well, come. You want me to watch? Take a big run up, like from right here. There you go. Go on in.
Hey, Karen, I got one for you. For as long as anyone could remember, this Indian chief was in charge of naming all the children that were born in the tribe. And one day this one brave comes up to him and says, "Chief, can I ask you something? How do you name these children? How do you think of their names?" The chief says, "It was very simple. When
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