How much would it cost me to take you back to my room for the rest of the evening? And she said, well, I, how much do you think I'm worth? Being 18, I had no idea how much she was worth. I offered $300. And she said that's a little bit too low. So I said, okay, well, what if I doubled it and made it 600? And she said, well, that's a little more lik
08/23/2026 WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I MET A GNOME IN MILWAUKEE? Just when I thought I've seen everything, I got a message from a gentleman in Milwaukee. His name is Robert. He told me I could give his name, first name only. But his family thinks he's crazy. And honestly, I thought Robert was crazy too. He told me that he's been seeing... at first he was
I go, can I get a cat? And they got me a cat. I named him Tommy. And they wouldn't put him in the house. And then one day, a couple of months later, I go to the garage, he's completely gone. I go, Mom, Dad. And they came in the garage. I go, where's Tom? And my dad goes, Mommy, she allergic. Tom gone. And he goes, stop crying. And then he just left
So when I was a kid, I killed a butterfly. My priest told me no butter for me the whole month. I also told them I killed a cockroach. He looked at me and laughed. He said, 'No chance, boy. No chance.'
Me genuinely tweaking after a story fucks over morally justified characters by making them commit a cartoonishly evil act out of nowhere to make a "both sides bad" narrative. (Sound of distorted screaming)
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