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avatar Jeremy Jordan
Being so drunk you have to close one eye to text

Being so drunk you have to close one eye to text

avatar Mark Manson

Ranger Rick. Me: Sir have you been drinking? Yes, I have. I've had 5 or 6 small batch bourbons. That's a lot. I'm going to have to ask you to take a breathalyzer test. Uh huh. Got a runner, stop running, try to catch me Ranger Rick. Oh yeah, okay, oh. Look what I'm doing, I handled this perfectly, this car is so powerful, oh yeah. Oh, wait, this is

avatar John Paul
Don't call yourself an American if you've never been shitfaced at a Waffle House at 3am.

Don't call yourself an American if you've never been shitfaced at a Waffle House at 3am.

avatar Mark Manson
YOU'RE NOT REALLY DRUNK UNTIL YOU ARE SPEAKING FLUENT OZZY OSBOURNE.

YOU'RE NOT REALLY DRUNK UNTIL YOU ARE SPEAKING FLUENT OZZY OSBOURNE.

avatar John Paul
Ever been so drunk you got hit by a parked car?

Ever been so drunk you got hit by a parked car?

avatar John Paul

I left the B@R Last night with 1 foot on the curb and 1 foot on the road for about 20 yards, when a cop stopped and asked me if I was DRU!NK! I said, "THANK GOD, I thought I was F*!KING CR!P PLED."

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