So I got pulled over for speeding the other day, and the cop comes up to the car and goes, why were you speeding? And I said, because I'm in a hurry. And he goes, well, what are you in a hurry for? I said, I'm late to work, dude. And he goes, well, what do you do that's so damn important? And I said, well, actually, I'm a rectum stretcher. And he
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