Here are the five ways to have a happy marriage. Number one: Find a woman who is really funny and makes you laugh. Number two: Find a woman who cooks really good food. Number three: Find a woman who keeps the house immaculate. Number four: Find a woman who is amazing in bed. And number five, and this is the most important, so listen close: Make sur
Okay, there she is. Take the shot. There's cops everywhere. What? I'm getting a familiar feeling. What feeling? Stay there. Keep your eyes down. I just saw a quick reflection. Of what? What feeling? That I'm being hunted. What the f**k are you doing? Down, down! There's two of them. All right, well, let's get after them. Don't bother. They'll be lo
Never another head has slowly taken. Violence causes silence. You and me mistaken. What you say, it's not me, it's not mine. In your head, in your head, in your head. With their guns, and their bombs, and their bombs. And their bombs, in your head, in your head, in your head. What's in your head, in your head, in your head. Yeah! You better go girl
SORRY IF MY PATRIOTISM OFFENDS YOU TRUST ME YOUR LACK OF SPINE OFFENDS ME MORE. I was born to piss you off and I do it damn well. Every goddamn song like a ride in hell and my voice makes a delicate eagle cough and bubble.
Funny jokes. Young man with his pants hanging half off his butt, two gold front teeth, and a half-inch thick gold chain. Walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, 'Hi, you know, I just hate drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system. Getting some
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