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avatar Joseph Mitchell

What's the last worst opening line you've gotten on Tinder? "I'll cut your lawn for you." I'll cut your lawn for you? F*ck, you're picky. That's a good one. If someone messaged me, "I'll cut your lawn for you," I'd be like, "Okay, Daddy." Shit. Oh, is it like a sex thing? Does that mean something else? That just occurred to me right now. I honestly

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avatar Isabella Lewis

Well, you know what, sir, I don't know if there's a lot we can agree on. So let's just take her wins when we have them. Ma'am. Sir. Ma'am. Do you think you can force me to call you ma'am? I don't know, sir. I mean, that's like a legitimate question for the transgender community. Can you force Americans to call you by the pronoun you want to be call

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avatar John Paul

ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE AS GOP REP CALLS OUT MAXINE WATERS TO HER FACE FOR SUPPORTING FIDEL CASTRO. Mr. Speaker, for that reason, I am asking Madam Waters. For what purpose the lady from California seek recognition? I move to take her words down. Respect who she is and don't pull her name out. Order. Order. The House will be in order. The lady from C

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avatar Jacob Junior

Name a reason a man thinks his wife looks as young as she did the day he married her. Alcohol. Boy. That's the best answer I've ever heard that might not be up there. Damn, that's a good answer. Alcohol. Alcohol.

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avatar Zoe ZZZ

When you're vibing with your boss and the mf says "Alright, back to work."

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avatar Isabella Lewis

Holy shit, he's really good. So you're saying Donald Trump should allow everyone to enter the United States, even illegally? Okay, you mentioned that you have a two-bedroom, right? Yeah, I have a two-bedroom. And you live alone? Mhm. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. I would like you to house two illegal immigrants who just crossed our borders. Are

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