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avatar John Paul
NURSE: You may not feel anything below the waist ME: So... Just the titties?

NURSE: You may not feel anything below the waist ME: So... Just the titties?

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avatar Sophia Rich
Halloween. A kid comes to the door with a sign

Halloween. A kid comes to the door with a sign"I love ceilings" What are you? A Ceiling Fan. Gave him all the candy.

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avatar Anthony Miller
Came in for eggs and hash browns, left with a black eye and a new girlfriend. I don’t remember what happened between 2:31 AM and 2:47 AM but the waitress said I “held my own.”
Be like Bobby.

Came in for eggs and hash browns, left with a black eye and a new girlfriend. I don’t remember what happened between 2:31 AM and 2:47 AM but the waitress said I “held my own.” Be like Bobby.

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avatar Joseph Mitchell
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised. Job 1:21

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised. Job 1:21

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avatar Isabella Lewis
Batman with prep time
Saitama
I'm gonna pay you $10k to fuck off.

Batman with prep time Saitama I'm gonna pay you $10k to fuck off.

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avatar Charlie Chocolate
So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.

So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.

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