What are you signing right now? I didn't even say anything. I didn't even say anything. You just making up shid. She's going rogue, doing her own show. She's going to leave, like, Matt Rife did a lot of racist jokes, and it didn't come from me at all.
STAND UP PART 3. *MATT BLESSES BABY IN LION KING*. OOOOHHH. Here's the thing. I won't open it if you just tell me what's in there. I had a lump in my breast. You had a lump in your breast? I had a mammogram. You had a mammogram recently? I'm best friends with my kids. And so I FaceTimed with my daughter, the hot one. Uh huh. You're not going to ask
What is your name, buddy? Mats Mathews Born on a Farm Funny Moments. Go ahead, that's a lot of letters. DAMARIUS. Damarius. DAMARCUS. Damarcus. Yo, why'd that ass fucking his name up? Thanks for coming, Damarcus. Now, what fuck you doing? Now we gotta pay two of these bitches? Oh, I know you fucking lying, Damarcus. I'm about to hate crime your ass
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SIR? Leo. Leo? How old are you, Leo? You're 18? Aww. No, don't say 'aww', he's 18. It's okay. You're allowed to hear. Who brought you here? Your parents? Aw, is that your dad?! Yo, he's cool as fuck! Dad is cool! With the hat?! The schoolboy hat, the schoolboy glasses, the beard. Look at that's the beard you want, huh? Is that mom
IS YOUR HUSBAND BLACK? HE WAS. HE WAS. DID YOU WASH HIM!? I'M I'M KIDDING. I'M I'M KIDDING. OH, THAT. THAT ONE'S NOT GOING ONLINE. THERE'S NO WAY. THAT WAS PRETTY FUGGED. HE PASSED. NO. NO. THEN HE'S STILL BLACK, RIGHT? DIVORCED? HE WAS YOUR HUSBAND. YOU GOT TO WORK ON HOW YOU SAY THIS STORY. I WAS REMARRIED- AND MY HUSBAND DIED LAST MAY. UH, HOLD
Part 2. You all got that late and shit! Shark accident? Fell off a transport truck. And you just like, *rolling sounds* on the road? It was parked. It was parked. Yeah. You got flimsy ass fucking legs. You got osteoporosis or some shit? What's your forty? I can swim with this. You can swim with it. Are you fast? This is waterproof. Absolutely. Shut
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