Can you make fun of her? Your mom is here with her group, and you want me to make fun of your mom? You lost your mind? You know tonight after the show you have to go home with your mom, right? You want to sleep on the street? Which one is your mom? The blonde? That's your mom? Mom, I'm going to make fun of you. You give me your phone number right n
You look like the strongest man on Earth, like the guys that they pull the trucks and sh*t, dude. What do you guys do? Are you into sports or something? No. We're cops. You're cops? Wow. How incredible. How incredible. Turn around and see how nervous the Iraqi guy is behind you. Oh my God. Such a great honor to have you guys, man. You said Mark, ri
What are you signing right now? I didn't even say anything. I didn't even say anything. You just making up shid. She's going rogue, doing her own show. She's going to leave, like, Matt Rife did a lot of racist jokes, and it didn't come from me at all.
STAND UP PART 3. *MATT BLESSES BABY IN LION KING*. OOOOHHH. Here's the thing. I won't open it if you just tell me what's in there. I had a lump in my breast. You had a lump in your breast? I had a mammogram. You had a mammogram recently? I'm best friends with my kids. And so I FaceTimed with my daughter, the hot one. Uh huh. You're not going to ask
What is your name, buddy? Mats Mathews Born on a Farm Funny Moments. Go ahead, that's a lot of letters. DAMARIUS. Damarius. DAMARCUS. Damarcus. Yo, why'd that ass fucking his name up? Thanks for coming, Damarcus. Now, what fuck you doing? Now we gotta pay two of these bitches? Oh, I know you fucking lying, Damarcus. I'm about to hate crime your ass
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