What's the worst thing you can say in an elevator full of people? True story, my mom and dad were in a crowded elevator while my mom was very obviously pregnant to the point of bursting. I guess she looks at my dad and says, "When are you going to tell your wife about me?" My parents are happily married; she was just pranking him. My dad said it wa
One of them, the one that I've got on the back of my backpack now, is like, you know, like a Ranger tab, except instead of that it says 'Special Needs'. No, yeah. So I just thought, I thought that was funny as shit, 'cause like I'm, I never did anything in the military. Like, where's this story going? I'm already liking the story, but I'm still...
Your total is 18.45. You have to hold it on there for a second. Hold it there. No, just tap the top and hold it. Actually, can I touch you just for one second? Yeah. That'll be 18.45. Just tap and hold.
Jessie My dad's starting a hot sauce company and has been workshopping slogans all week, so now I just get completely random texts from him out of nowhere. One popped up on my phone today while I was at work and my coworker saw it... I had some explaining to do. 😂 Dad now Your colon will remember this forever
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