My sister got her 4th divorce today and my dad crashing out in the family group chat. Sissy: I just divorced him. Dad: You're like the first slice of bread in the bag: Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
Jessie My dad's starting a hot sauce company and has been workshopping slogans all week, so now I just get completely random texts from him out of nowhere. One popped up on my phone today while I was at work and my coworker saw it... I had some explaining to do. 😂 Dad now Your colon will remember this forever
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