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avatar Zoe ZZZ
When I was a child I heard a constant ticking noise on the street where I lived. Turns out it was the Neighborhood Watch.

When I was a child I heard a constant ticking noise on the street where I lived. Turns out it was the Neighborhood Watch.

avatar Joseph Mitchell
Dad Jokes. A woman goes to the dentist and asks, “How much to pull two wisdom teeth?” The dentist says, “$100.” She replies, “That’s too much. Can’t you do it for less?” The dentist says, “I can do it for $50 if I skip the anesthetic.” “Still too much,” she says. “Any cheaper?” The dentist says, “I could let my trainee do it for $20, but she’s neve

Dad Jokes. A woman goes to the dentist and asks, “How much to pull two wisdom teeth?” The dentist says, “$100.” She replies, “That’s too much. Can’t you do it for less?” The dentist says, “I can do it for $50 if I skip the anesthetic.” “Still too much,” she says. “Any cheaper?” The dentist says, “I could let my trainee do it for $20, but she’s neve

avatar Isabella Lewis
Hey Dad, I got rear-ended on 29. Can you come get me? Everyone is ok I'm just in shock. Sorry to hear about accident, glad you are ok and it was not your fault. You'll have to give me a little time though, your mother is getting rear-ended also. WTF DAD

Hey Dad, I got rear-ended on 29. Can you come get me? Everyone is ok I'm just in shock. Sorry to hear about accident, glad you are ok and it was not your fault. You'll have to give me a little time though, your mother is getting rear-ended also. WTF DAD

avatar Gaie Houston
My brother got into a car accident and my dad texted me this. U talk to mom today? yeah i did. glad christian is okay. You mean

My brother got into a car accident and my dad texted me this. U talk to mom today? yeah i did. glad christian is okay. You mean "Crash"tian ?

avatar Patricia Lee
Ashleighnottisdale @Ashleigh12211 My bio says

Ashleighnottisdale @Ashleigh12211 My bio says "only here for the dad jokes" and this guy from Ship crushed it. You matched with Chad on 9/30. Chad: Hey Ashleigh...are you still awake? or did you fall Ashleighp?

avatar Gaie Houston
Maria @mariamoobs posted: My mom fell and hit her head last night. I texted my dad this morning asking for an update and this is what happened. In the chat with 'Dad', the user asked 'How is mom's head'. Dad replied 'I've had better.'

Maria @mariamoobs posted: My mom fell and hit her head last night. I texted my dad this morning asking for an update and this is what happened. In the chat with 'Dad', the user asked 'How is mom's head'. Dad replied 'I've had better.'

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