Ps is this a praying mantis?
Yes
Don't have sex with it. It will eat you after.
Good call. It was looking at me all seductive like
That's how they get you.
I love my mom, but she is savage. 😂
[Image of cookies and text message]
Mom: I baked chocolate chip cookies for your girlfriend
Me: Mom 😘
Me: That's sweet but she's not my girlfriend
Me: It's just a date
Mom: Listen. You show up with warm chocolate chip cookies and she's gonna forget you drive a 2004 Honda Civic.
i'm sorry
please talk to me
hello?
worlds most amazing person??
sweet pea?
beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure
Delivered
Sorry doesn’t bring back my fucking m&ms.
My mom recently discovered Facebook Marketplace and today I get this text from my dad 😂
Dad: Your mother has put my life in danger over a toaster she bought on Facebook. I’m meeting a man named 'Rick' behind Home Depot. If I go missing, start there.
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![I love my mom, but she is savage. 😂
[Image of cookies and text message]
Mom: I baked chocolate chip cookies for your girlfriend
Me: Mom 😘
Me: That's sweet but she's not my girlfriend
Me: It's just a date
Mom: Listen. You show up with warm chocolate chip cookies and she's gonna forget you drive a 2004 Honda Civic.](https://cdn.memestoday.fun/data/upload/Gro9UG05D.jpg)
