It's Father's Day. They got me socks and a number one dad mug inside the box. Big gifts and flowers go to mums, but I'm just a dad, so I get crumbs. Give me a beer, give me the remote. Five quiet minutes, that's all I want. I don't ask for much, but I'm so glad that I got these kids and I'm just a dad. I could've had a yacht, a girlfriend or three.
He's had diarrhea all morning... Boy, what is wrong with you? Mama, I need some Viagra. What? What the hell do you need Viagra for? Isn't that what you give Daddy when his shit won't get hard?
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