It's Father's Day. They got me socks and a number one dad mug inside the box. Big gifts and flowers go to mums, but I'm just a dad, so I get crumbs. Give me a beer, give me the remote. Five quiet minutes, that's all I want. I don't ask for much, but I'm so glad that I got these kids and I'm just a dad. I could've had a yacht, a girlfriend or three.
He's had diarrhea all morning... Boy, what is wrong with you? Mama, I need some Viagra. What? What the hell do you need Viagra for? Isn't that what you give Daddy when his shit won't get hard?
A person walks along a fence, revealing an optical illusion graffiti art of a cartoon character with blue hair holding a spray can. The character appears to be painting on the fence, but as the camera moves, the illusion breaks, showing the distorted painting behind the fence.
When you're forced to double down on a lie. Excuse me. Would you sign a petition to give dog owners the right to exercise their dogs around the long pond? I don't really know anything about it. I'm not really a dog person. You see, I'm not a dog owner. I'm actually slightly phobic. So that is...? (dog barks and jumps, woman screams)
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