President Trump to his critics after last night's strike: You know what you should do? You should sanction me. Sanction me with your army. Oh! Wait a minute! You don't have an army! I guess that means you need to shut the fuck up! That's what I could do if I don't have no army. I would sh-fuck up. Shut the fuck up!
Spiderman villains after a year of college and a bad breakup: Hey, we are a man from South America, a man from South America, a man from South America.
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