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avatar Joseph Mitchell
I was recently asked who my favorite vampire was. I said,

I was recently asked who my favorite vampire was. I said, "the muppet from Sesame Street." They told me, "he doesn't count!" I replied, "I assure you, he does."

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avatar Joseph Mitchell
SHE SAID

SHE SAID "CHOKE ME DADDY" SO I GAVE HER TWO POPEYES BISCUITS WITHOUT A DRINK

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avatar Patricia Lee
Husbands, if your wife does something wrong, just explain to her how your mom did it. She will appreciate your advice, and strive to do it as she did.

Husbands, if your wife does something wrong, just explain to her how your mom did it. She will appreciate your advice, and strive to do it as she did.

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avatar Joseph Mitchell
Don't depend too much on anyone in this world. Even your shadow leaves you when you're in darkness.

Don't depend too much on anyone in this world. Even your shadow leaves you when you're in darkness.

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avatar John Paul
THIS USED TO BE HOW PEOPLE STAYED CONNECTED.

THIS USED TO BE HOW PEOPLE STAYED CONNECTED.

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avatar Mark Manson
A transgender child is like a vegan dog. Everybody knows who made the decision.

A transgender child is like a vegan dog. Everybody knows who made the decision.

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