WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SIR? Leo. Leo? How old are you, Leo? You're 18? Aww. No, don't say 'aww', he's 18. It's okay. You're allowed to hear. Who brought you here? Your parents? Aw, is that your dad?! Yo, he's cool as fuck! Dad is cool! With the hat?! The schoolboy hat, the schoolboy glasses, the beard. Look at that's the beard you want, huh? Is that mom
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story? I have no idea, but I bet it's awful, hahaha. Woody goes limp when a child walks in the room. Oh my God. Jim. Hey mom, what how do you stop a woman from choking? Back up an inch. Oh my God Brian. How do you know you're at a gay picnic? I have no idea. All the hot dogs taste like shit.
Do you know what the secret is to having a smoking hot body as a senior? Cremation. Oh my God! What's a reverse exorcism? It's when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child. Oh my God! What do you call a tent full of lesbians? Finger hut. Oh my God, Brian! How do you spot the blind guy at the nudist beach? It's not hard. Oh my God! I have
Teacher: How old is your father? Kid: He is 6 years. Teacher: What? How is this possible? Kid: He became father only when I was born. (Logic!! Children are quick and always speak their minds.) TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now, Class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. TEACHER: Glenn,
Rodney Part 3. My wife, she can't do nothing right. I always have trouble with my wife. She can't do nothing right, Johnny. I mean, I took her to the ballet, she forgot the sandwiches. I got all kinds of problems, Johnny. My daughter got pregnant from eating chicken. It was finger-licking good, and one thing led to another, you know. By the way, ki
Rodney Part 1. I'll tell you, I'm all right now, but last week I was in rough shape, you know. Last week I told my wife, 'We need a home improvement loan.' She gave me a thousand dollars to move out. I'll tell you, my wife, there's always something, you know. The other day I called her up, I said to her, 'Honey, I've been thinking, the last time we
Memes Today – is an entertainment platform built primarily on Android and iOS mobile apps. In order to use the full functionality of Memes Today, we ask you to download the mobile application available from the links below. By downloading the App, you can like, comment, save posts to favorites, share the content.
