My son asked my wife is he adopted? My son asked my wife, mom, am I adopted? She said, no, of course not. Why do you ask? He said, I did a DNA test, and it said I'm not related to nobody in this family. So my wife called me and said, look, David did a DNA test, and it says he ain't our son. So I said, well, obviously. She said, what do you mean obv
This reminds me of one time I was in Arkansas at the Electric Cowboy, if you know, you know Fort Smith. And I wanted to learn a line dance, so I went up to a lady who was like running the show, like she had been to the Electric Cowboy before. And I said, 'Ma'am, can you please teach me this dance? Like I want to get in on this.' And she looked at m
You need to tell me if I'm tripping or not, okay? Because I meet this man, right? Five minutes into knowing him, he's got his fingers like in my mouth, like all the way. He's basically like full fist in my uvula, right? I'm like, 'Oh, baby, you freaked out.' Let me show you the dark side, okay? You don't know me yet. So I grab that ass, like full h
Of nowhere God splitting sinus headache. God, I have a splitting sinus headache. She goes, oh, here and roots through a giant person goes, take this and I took it. And about a second later I hear, ooh. Oh. HA. HA. I said, uh, what? What was that about? She goes, you swallow that. Yep. Sure did swallow it. What color was it? I don't know. I didn't l
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