DON'T TELL COMEDY. Here's how I get free Starbucks. All the time. I will go to Starbucks, and, ya know, they ask you for your name and I'll tell them in my best African accent, like, "My name is Negus, which stands for 'African Kings'". They're like, "What? How do you spell it?" I be like, "N-E-G-U-S". There's nothin' funnier than seeing your latte
The UK and the Australian diaspora, they're f***ing spineless, okay? I'm sorry, it's just the truth. They're like, 'I'm too white for brown people and too brown for white people,' you know? Meanwhile, Canadian brown people, they're like, 'Wallahi, if this Walmart doesn't start selling halal chicken, I will convert everyone in the greater West Vanco
I had an I, but I had to have it removed emergency. Why? 'Cause the dick was hitting it too fucking big, bro? Yeah! Oh! How come you had to get it removed, ma'am? Like you said. Hammer. You got a hammer hammer on you? Yeah. Like a hammer? Yeah. No! What's your background? Ethnic background? Hispasian. Hispasian? So you're Hispanic and Asian? Okay,
The last guy I hooked up with, he did not have a bathroom in his apartment. It was in the hallway. It was a communal bathroom for the whole building. This man, he had to hand me a fucking key, okay? I'm like, what kind of video game is this where I had to shuck a dick to earn a key? To go on my little side quest, okay? He also gave me a lantern, ok
he just goes like this: do you have a question? I have a question. is your hair real? great question ma'am. yeah. it is real, you wanna see? now what if I was bald, would you feel better? you could play Jesus. what's that? you could play Jesus. I could play Jesus? that's what's up. I would rather be on the cross right now talking to you. I'm a prof
This guy discovered the ultimate cheat code for backyard farming. Instead of buying expensive irrigation, he built this zero waste system for under $80. He just dug a simple trench, lined it, and planted his crops right on the edge. Release the fish. Here is why it's pure genius. He added hundreds of fish to the water, creating an endless supply of
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