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avatar Gaie Houston
If you're ever watching a movie with your parents and a sex scene comes on, give it a second, then look at your parents and say,

If you're ever watching a movie with your parents and a sex scene comes on, give it a second, then look at your parents and say, "Is this the kind of filth you two are into? Disgusting." You just changed the balance of power forever.

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avatar Gaie Houston
When Halloween is over and you spot the chick you got head from still dressed as a guy

When Halloween is over and you spot the chick you got head from still dressed as a guy

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avatar Joseph Mitchell
I can't wait to be rich so I can live like this
I DON'T LIKE TO BE READILY AVAILABLE TO ANY HUMAN BEING AT ANY TIME.

I can't wait to be rich so I can live like this I DON'T LIKE TO BE READILY AVAILABLE TO ANY HUMAN BEING AT ANY TIME.

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avatar John Paul
Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Matthew 18:18

Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Matthew 18:18

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avatar jojo9
Explain it again. It feels like 5pm dinner time, but it's really 4pm?\nThis is bullshit!

Explain it again. It feels like 5pm dinner time, but it's really 4pm?\nThis is bullshit!

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avatar Mark Manson
WHEN I FIRST SAW TOM HANKS IN A MOVIE AND I THOUGHT... THIS GUYS GOOD, I WISH HIM LUCK THEN I SAW HIM IN BIG, AND I THOUGHT... HE'S GOT COMEDY CHOPS, THAT'S FANTASTIC. AND THAT'S A REAR QUALITY THEN, IN APOLLO 13, I SAW THE BRILLIANCE OF HIS DRAMATIC ACTING AND I SAID TO MYSELF, MOTHER FUCKER

WHEN I FIRST SAW TOM HANKS IN A MOVIE AND I THOUGHT... THIS GUYS GOOD, I WISH HIM LUCK THEN I SAW HIM IN BIG, AND I THOUGHT... HE'S GOT COMEDY CHOPS, THAT'S FANTASTIC. AND THAT'S A REAR QUALITY THEN, IN APOLLO 13, I SAW THE BRILLIANCE OF HIS DRAMATIC ACTING AND I SAID TO MYSELF, MOTHER FUCKER

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