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avatar Olivia Veqqie

Okay, he's absolutely beautiful, but he is destroying my tree. PILEATED WOODPECKER! THE DAMAGE AT THE END 😩 Stop pecking me there! Stop! Want me to fix that for you? 😂 Amateurs VS Professionals. Wake up, everyone—time to get up and get to work! My neighbors complained about my dog, but now I have a woodpecker on their chimney. Let's see if it does

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avatar Olivia Veqqie

The sound of a powerful car engine idling.

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avatar Mark Manson

A young nun went to see the Mother Superior with a very worried face. Mother, I need to tell you something, she said quietly. I'm pregnant. The Mother Superior nearly dropped her tea. What? How on earth did that happen? she shouted. The young nun looked embarrassed and said, Reverend Mother, it was Father Donald from the Catholic church up the road

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avatar Charlie Chocolate

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar. And the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, 'Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up? You look so excited!' The groom replies, 'I just had the best blowjob I have ever had in my entire l

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avatar Isabella Lewis

But does she bake for you?

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avatar Olivia Veqqie

Yes or no! Does anybody on here wanna see me in concert this year?? Wait for all the cities... Yes or no, hey, ain't that you? What the hell do you do? I plead the fifth, I did some shit when I was drunk last night. I raised from hell, I'm supposed to bail, but I won't testify. It all went south and I ain't proud, but a good time ain't no crime. I

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